Isolation: the epicentre of the mental health recession?

Since the dawn of time, human beings have evolved together. Groups of individuals have been defined as tribes. By design, we work better and are more efficient within tribes. To define a tribe is simply a social group of humans. Other terminologies used to describe tribes include indigenous, natives and hunter gatherers. In today's society, these terminologies could be seen as archaic, but it is only since the late 1960's that this term within anthropological contexts ceased usage. Now, the few remaining isolated pockets of civilisation are commonly referred to as tribes. Shared goals; culture, rights of passage and brotherhood are vital elements that provide real meaning to these individuals' existence. Sounds distant, right?

The Maasai people are a well known community residing in Kenya and Tanzania. They have received much mainstream media coverage and documentary features for their vibrant dress and courageous existence. Populations of the Masaai people are estimated across both countries to around two million. Masaai people are known to have special affinities with keeping and farming cattle, and up until recently, passage to earning warrior status for a young Masaai was to single handedly kill a lion with a spear. It is these traditions, forged in courage that keep these communities close knit and honest. The Masaai people are one of the few major tribes to have refused to progress with the technological and social advances of society. They hold dear the traditions that have seen them evolve and thrive for centuries.

Whilst it is important to acknowledge that there may be practices within tribes that the west deem abnormal, these individuals are happy. Countless interviews with tribesmen ooze contentment and happiness. Although the tribes are being pushed to the fringes of human society, they remain happy. So how is it that these people, who own very little; are not connected to mainstream society and edged towards the brink of extinction can be so fulfilled? Human connection.

It is well known that we live in the digital age. The irony that I have sat here, glued to a laptop screen in isolation typing this speak volumes around the lucrative pull the screen has. There really seems to be no escape from the overload of information and stimulation that the virtual world provides us. We seem to live vicariously through online media, suffering serious FOMO (fear of missing out) if we fail to check our socials at least twenty times each day. The average human spends around two and a half hours daily on social media which is obscene. And as we have been sucked into this instantly gratifying and comfortable virtual vortex, we have lost touch with the very essence of what promoted the evolution and progression of human civilisation.

You become the average of the five individuals you spend the most time with. Who you choose to spend your time with heavily shapes the decisions you make and the person you become. In our infancies, we attend school. Schooling systems by design heap conglomerates of young individuals together. You are held at will to identify with others, regardless of whether or not you share interests. You have very little choice. You either find others to identify with or face isolation.

Once school finishes, it is extremely rare that you stay in touch with those you shared school with. As you begin to develop interests and discover who you are, you may realise these are or are not your tribesmen. When you move into work, provided you are doing a job that fulfils you and your purpose, again you may or may not be surrounded by like minded others. This can be where you may develop a tribe. We must actively seek out those who stimulate us. Who push us to become better people. Who inspire us to work towards the things we desire. This may be from connections at school or in the workplace. It could be through the clubs we join or classes we attend. It is imperative we are active in seeking these groups, free from technological input and more real-life action.

Friends

We are taught to believe a friend is somebody who has our best interests at heart. True friends will love you, stand up for you and put you before themselves. They will back you up and tell you that you are a great person. They will tell you that are doing a great job and to be easy on yourself. Whilst this all seems positive and wonderful, these relationships can also be of detriment. If there is a blind ignorance to keeping a friend accountable for when they are not maintaining the standards you know they hold true of, this can be problematic. The best types of friends are caring AND critically able. In order to progress, we need criticism. We need to hear from people who we know care about us, that we are acting out of line. That we are doing ourselves a disservice. True friendship is having the ability to create awareness that a friend is slacking. Finding the balance of being fair and reasonable, loving and sincere can help friendships blossom. But we have to put the effort in.

Texting friends and meeting friends are two wildly separate entities in my opinion. It requires more physical and mental expenditure to meet a friend, as opposed to just dropping somebody a text at the wiggle of your autonomous thumbs. Real human interactions give us a buzz, a real buzz. Not a buzz in our pocket, but an authentic release of endorphins. Connecting with other humans is vital. It is time we reconnected with our tribes. Fifteen years ago however, this would be seen as ludicrous. How can someone maintain a healthy life without seeing other humans? You fail to connect with someone over a screen. The inability to convey or receive emotional cues removes the depth and purity from conversation. As humans, we need this. It is no wonder the vast majority of the world is in a mental health recession. Creatures that once used to place human connection at the centre of their existence, now work in isolation. People believe that being a lone wolf will allow them to focus on their goals, and that they do not need help or input from others. That it is all merely just a distraction from the work they are pursuing  However, the lone wolf dies alone.

Reconnecting

We barely say hello to anyone we don't know anymore. We amble through life, ears plugged, with the goal of blocking out any human interaction. "If I am wearing my headphones, people will know not to bother engaging in conversation. I am safe" you tell yourself. Conversing with other humans makes us anxious. It never used to be this way.

This piece was inspired by Johann Hari's Lost Connections. As I realised that my mental health was being significantly impacted, I soon realised that a major player in this was isolation. I had isolated myself in the belief that I could be more productive and better off alone. This couldn't be further from the truth. Whilst I realised I didn't need to fake friendships, I had to make an effort to connect with people I saw had real value in my life. I have taken it upon myself to reconnect. I have made the effort to meet people who have added value into my life and make me a better person. Investing in others is so vital for both your relationships, yourself and their lives. Reach out to those who you care about, be honest and hold your hands up if you haven't held yourself in the regards you should have. And as I finish this piece and close down technology for the day, I make no apologies when I say put your f*****g phone down and go speak to someone.

Max